World Autism Awareness Day

is on April 2nd #WAAD

This poem was written for World Autism Awareness Day (#WAAD), which aims to put a spotlight on the hurdles that people with autism (and those living with autism) face every day. I’m not hiding it behind a paywall. Why not make a donation instead.

‘A World Away ’ is based on my experience of caring for children with autism coupled with severe emotional, behavioural and learning difficulties. Their tragic misfortune to be born into such circumstances is a constant reminder of how lucky the majority of us are when faced with life's more common trials and tribulations.

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A World Away

We are unique, moulds broken once poured.
But mine was cracked from hidden flaws.
Powerless to filter what I touch, hear and see.
Overt and subliminal, with no distinction,
my neurones conspire against me.

A minimal mind – just an animal, some say.
Parental struggle for one normal day.
Their care departing scarred hands,
self-protecting sanity,
seven years in my quicksand, the tragedy of me.

My triggers removed – hoop and ball, destructive all.
Prior pleasures that descended into maelstrom,
driving all else from my brain.
Turning on those who care most.
Sharing, enduring; easing my pain.

My room a bed, a mirror distorted,
so I can’t see me, can’t descend into chaos,
self-reflecting to infinity.
Skin ripped raw; the floor where I’ll bleed,
fighting a mind that cannot be me.

Daily habits make life’s process less grim.
My sole expression an empty grin.
They know what I am. Born to unlucky chance.
The strangers take turns; to show
the how, where and when, in my life’s rigid dance.

Locked, safe and hidden by consent of community.
Spending all my days in mindful disunity.
The lightest of touches I use to reach out,
index digit uncurling to push, gently probe.
Cascades of sensation from skin which I’m clothed.

I remain a stranger to the life expected,
to exist outside would be rejected.
No-one could help me. No-one would care.
I’m told I cope here and so here I must be,
senses flayed infinite from a world arbitrary.