Definitely, definitely, definitely getting the Aliens/Starship Troopers inspiration in this piece. I had this mental picture of Vasquez the entire time (special bionic-limb-edition).
So many parts stuck out that I can't think of a way to organize them. List time:
1. “You sayin’ armless is harmless, sweetie?” - again, you must have some ability to enter a space marine zen-state. Perfect line.
2. "Rodice’s over-the-shoulder railguns. Firing slugs of heat-fused material sucked up from wherever she stood, her pack resembled a real-time ammo-making furnace. As the pace picked up, the inside of her helmet glowed like an inner planet’s OTC holo. Sometimes I heard her laughing as she sprayed out another chattering salvo." - Siri, play the Doom soundtrack
3. The moment when her limb sprouts a whole garden of artillery. The entire piece, for that matter, came laced with adrenaline.
The only think that threw me off was that sometimes the piece switched to present tense. "After a few exhausting minutes, I’m forced to reload" was one, and I think I spotted a few other places. Understandable given the deadline.
A great action-oriented piece overall, full of 'esprit de corps', and 'esprit de Prompt Quest'.
Glad you enjoyed this and thank you so much for your breakdown of the piece.
Yes, the present tense has slipped through in a few places. Definitely a sign of being caught up in the action and rushing it hot from the battlefield to my readers! Will make corrections before the Quest is summarised and Pitched.
This is a really great pastiche - lots of fun here with the blatant 'dropship scene in aliens starring Vasquez' segues into the first battle sequence in Starship troopers, both of which are fun scenes. I shall have to put those movies on my rewatch list.
Thank you! You got it - and, as I said in the intro to the story, there's also some 'MM:Fury Road' mixed in. Couldn't resist some Imperator Furiosa character influence, because "armless isn't harmless, sweetie"!
I also forgot to ask about your image - I'm assuming that's AI-generated? If so, are these images free to use? Can you post a link? I've been mostly browsing around places like Unsplash and the like.
Yes, it is. The image's caption is a version of the text prompt I used to generate it. You can't currently copyright an AI image by itself. I used the free MS Copilot/GPT4 tool to generate this image. Their licence permits this re-use.
I've not actually seen fury road, so that explains why i missed that reference. So you've just added another to my watch list lol.
If you like this kind of postmodern cultural references stuff then you would love my own stuff. Have a look on my own substack and you'll enjoy. Start with the Alters...
So pleased you enjoyed it - 'fantastic' is a very generous word! Yes, it took about two hours to kick out the first draft, but then I always leave things at least overnight to let it brew (and leave a full novel in a draw for a minimum 4 weeks). The edit may then take another hour or two in total. You can, of course, edit something forever, but a Substack schedule helps the cut-off.
Sorry, I haven't read Onyebuchi's 'War Girls' series - my hard SF / space opera memories are mostly from reading/watching older material (and Onyii is ~300 years younger than Bandita ... 😛). But of course the prompt may have had it in mind - ask Brian!
I mention some influences in the story's preamble - literary, cinematic & graphical. The former includes Banks, Clarke, Greg Bear, Bova, Reynolds. For the latter, you might enjoy 'Halo Jones' (a 3-part 'ballad') and perhaps Rucka's long-running 'Lazarus' series. Both have strong, dynamic and nuanced women SF characters.
If I'm being self-critical, this story overdoses on tropes and the main character might be seen as a stereotypical 'GI Jane' - but she was fun to write! For longer form work, I do enjoy writing complex women characters, whereas my men characters struggle to come out of their shells!
Definitely, definitely, definitely getting the Aliens/Starship Troopers inspiration in this piece. I had this mental picture of Vasquez the entire time (special bionic-limb-edition).
So many parts stuck out that I can't think of a way to organize them. List time:
1. “You sayin’ armless is harmless, sweetie?” - again, you must have some ability to enter a space marine zen-state. Perfect line.
2. "Rodice’s over-the-shoulder railguns. Firing slugs of heat-fused material sucked up from wherever she stood, her pack resembled a real-time ammo-making furnace. As the pace picked up, the inside of her helmet glowed like an inner planet’s OTC holo. Sometimes I heard her laughing as she sprayed out another chattering salvo." - Siri, play the Doom soundtrack
3. The moment when her limb sprouts a whole garden of artillery. The entire piece, for that matter, came laced with adrenaline.
The only think that threw me off was that sometimes the piece switched to present tense. "After a few exhausting minutes, I’m forced to reload" was one, and I think I spotted a few other places. Understandable given the deadline.
A great action-oriented piece overall, full of 'esprit de corps', and 'esprit de Prompt Quest'.
Glad you enjoyed this and thank you so much for your breakdown of the piece.
Yes, the present tense has slipped through in a few places. Definitely a sign of being caught up in the action and rushing it hot from the battlefield to my readers! Will make corrections before the Quest is summarised and Pitched.
This is a really great pastiche - lots of fun here with the blatant 'dropship scene in aliens starring Vasquez' segues into the first battle sequence in Starship troopers, both of which are fun scenes. I shall have to put those movies on my rewatch list.
Thank you! You got it - and, as I said in the intro to the story, there's also some 'MM:Fury Road' mixed in. Couldn't resist some Imperator Furiosa character influence, because "armless isn't harmless, sweetie"!
I also forgot to ask about your image - I'm assuming that's AI-generated? If so, are these images free to use? Can you post a link? I've been mostly browsing around places like Unsplash and the like.
Yes, it is. The image's caption is a version of the text prompt I used to generate it. You can't currently copyright an AI image by itself. I used the free MS Copilot/GPT4 tool to generate this image. Their licence permits this re-use.
I've not actually seen fury road, so that explains why i missed that reference. So you've just added another to my watch list lol.
If you like this kind of postmodern cultural references stuff then you would love my own stuff. Have a look on my own substack and you'll enjoy. Start with the Alters...
I already did 😛. Yesterday morning I read 'Fragments of a Time Capsule'.
Did you like it? Let me know what you think in the comments (good or bad, you know).
"The Fighting Furies were only deployed to where new colonies met resistance from the deadly indigenous, the alien unknown, or the truly pissed off."
I heard Michelle Rodriguez all the way through this. Excellent story.
Thank you! Jenette Goldstein and Michelle Rodriguez would make a formidable space marine duo, with either of them playing Tizzy or Rodice!
Did you spend only 2 hours on this story? Or where there some editing rounds?
I loved it! I’m always impressed with what a fantastic writer you are. This gave me ‘War girls’ vibe. Do you know the book?
So pleased you enjoyed it - 'fantastic' is a very generous word! Yes, it took about two hours to kick out the first draft, but then I always leave things at least overnight to let it brew (and leave a full novel in a draw for a minimum 4 weeks). The edit may then take another hour or two in total. You can, of course, edit something forever, but a Substack schedule helps the cut-off.
Sorry, I haven't read Onyebuchi's 'War Girls' series - my hard SF / space opera memories are mostly from reading/watching older material (and Onyii is ~300 years younger than Bandita ... 😛). But of course the prompt may have had it in mind - ask Brian!
I mention some influences in the story's preamble - literary, cinematic & graphical. The former includes Banks, Clarke, Greg Bear, Bova, Reynolds. For the latter, you might enjoy 'Halo Jones' (a 3-part 'ballad') and perhaps Rucka's long-running 'Lazarus' series. Both have strong, dynamic and nuanced women SF characters.
If I'm being self-critical, this story overdoses on tropes and the main character might be seen as a stereotypical 'GI Jane' - but she was fun to write! For longer form work, I do enjoy writing complex women characters, whereas my men characters struggle to come out of their shells!
Fun! Great voice.
Thank you! Was fun to write it. Glad you enjoyed the story.